Is Failure Really That Bad?

Regret is the villain in your life, failure isn’t.

When was the last time you lay in bed, trying your hardest to fall asleep until thoughts like ‘what if I had done this?’ and ‘if only I had done that,’ entered your mind? Trust me on this one, ‘regret’ as we call it can be way more painful and disappointing than failure itself, but then why do we allow ourselves to reach a stage where we curse ourselves for opportunities we chose not to grab?. If you are consistently haunted by the merciless ghost of your regrets, you are not alone.

My 16-year-old self found himself in the same place, perfectly aware of the fact that he was capable of achieving much more. What made me feel bad was not that I didn’t have enough achievements to show off, it was the fact that I knew I could have done more. 

This led me to realize one only gets what they deserve, and not what they merely wish for. Unless I try my best, I can’t blame anything for my failure, and if I do try my best, and still fail, I have no reason to feel disappointed since I did everything in my control. There is, however, a blurry line between enthusiastic drive and overburdening pressure which often distorts our perception of this concept.

One must understand that growth is a journey of perseverance. It is not possible to turn everything in your favour overnight. After I decided to change my take on life, I couldn’t achieve everything I wished for in an instant, but knowing that I was pushing towards something made me feel like I was heading somewhere, constantly building a better version of myself. This is where positivity and contentment blooms which ensures that your productive drive is not short-lived. Rather than stressing over outcomes, focus on eliminating regret, because when you know that you put in all you could, the results are not what one should be worried about. The fact that you were sincere and committed towards your goals is a matter of great pride because you are among the few who are not wooed away by the millions of distractions that lie scattered across our stairway to success. 

Art By: (Hannah Gabling//The Underground)

This is not where the story ends, because in some cases, failure or disappointment is not the result of not being good enough or not trying enough. What is it then? It is merely chasing the wrong destination. Stick with me for a moment. If you’re a student, or someone who still wants to achieve their dream lives and careers. You’ve certainly felt a surge, a sudden need to do something productive, or else you’d be labelled a complete loser.

A feeling that everyone around you is working towards something, while you sit with your hand deep into a bag of chips while the other scrolls through Instagram Stories. It’s possible to be driven to do something for the wrong reasons. We often develop a mindset to achieve social status or to excel in ‘cool’ things rather than chasing self-growth. I think we’re on the same page now. Just because one of your friends designed an artificial intelligence tool all by himself doesn’t mean you can too, right? That’s not because you’re not smart, but because you’re different.

Now, if you desperately set off to design an AI tool of your own despite having no passion for the journey, you might fail miserably and start doubting your abilities, or you might come out successful but the feeling of accomplishment is shallow, and something feels missing. Why does this happen? It’s because you are forcing yourself to believe that it’s what you desire, while things truly meant for you lie behind doors that might never be explored. We are often made to believe that there are only a few fields or endeavours that can be rewarding and that is what we should chase, but as we grow up, we realize success is not limited to a pay-check or popularity in the friend group, it is the voice inside you that tells you “I’m proud of you”.

Now, that brings me to the final question, what does this mean? Does this mean you stop trying? Definitely not! What I wish to put across is that if you wish to be productive, find your own version of productivity. Find something that allows you to rejoice in the journey rather than the result because at the end of the day, no amount of recognition or reward can come close to the eternal feeling of mental peace and contentment you get doing something you truly love.