To You, Overbearing Lover

A letter to someone who loves too much that it’s suffocating. But suffocating for who? The writer of the letter or the one it’s directed to?

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To: the Overbearing Lover 

From: the One Who Suffocates From Overbearing Love 

February 10th, 2023

Dear Overbearing Lover, 

I would start off this letter by wishing you were doing well but I know that would get your hopes up, you’d assume that I actually care about you. I don’t. Your wellbeing doesn’t mean much to me anymore, especially seeing how you try and find some type of genuine feeling from me even through common courtesy; it’s annoying. More specifically, you’re annoying and that is the purpose of this letter—to emphasize how annoying you are because your love is just so overbearing. And that’s not the worst of it all. The worst is that you expect the same type of love from others and become hurt when you don’t get it, it’s not anyone else’s fault but your own. 

Why do you look so deeply into others? I understand that you’re a writer and like to read in between the lines; making things deeper than they actually are is innate for you but it’s so aggravating. You begin to see things that aren’t there, you’re so deluded that you start making up traits that simply do not exist in the other person. You begin to tell me things that are simply untrue, but for your own wellbeing you decide they are. 

“He’s just not texting me back because he’s probably busy with other things right now, he’s under a lot of stress right now so I know he’s just distancing himself because that’s how he copes.” You were right about that, he was busy. He was busy being tossed around like a football between the different girls on his phone that he flirted with. He only made you feel special and kept you in the spotlight when he was in your possession. but it was never deeper than that. Because a football like him is meant to be passed around between players and teams—giving others their spotlight too. You continued to excuse him and make attempts to write his character thinking that the situation was a story you could write, but it wasn’t. It was just your overbearing love.  

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It’s sad to see all the effort you put in to see him in every light except the actual reality: an insecure boy who made other girls feel special so they could validate his existence. A boy made to be passed around in a team. I had a good laugh at the idea of you having your two seconds of fame with that unattractive football in your hands. There’s the karma of your overbearing love. He didn’t want it but you gave it to him, the same way I never want it but you continue to do it. You deserved all the pain he caused you. 

I’m fed up with all the constant excuses you give others too. You would think someone who makes that many excuses would make some for themselves, but you never do. In fact, you do the opposite! You take responsibility for the “mistakes” that you make but continue to excuse the deliberate actions of others. Another consequence of your overbearing love. The same deliberate actions that continue to degrade and hurt you but you still make excuses. 

“I don’t know why they’re being distant, I must have done something wrong but they won’t tell me what. I should try and continue to stay close and make things normal even if they aren’t acknowledging me.” When I initially heard you say that I realized something. You have absolutely no self-respect. Literally nothing. It’s so pathetic, the way you continue to make excuses for a person who is making you put in all the work and fails to communicate with you, even when they know how much you love them. It’s your overbearing love, the same overbearing love that continues to equate you to a stepping stool for others to use. They expect you to come to them, to put in all the effort, they decide when they want to treat you right and even though it drains you, you continue to accept it. You continue to love. It’s hilarious watching it happen, the image of you running after a person who walks away, yet holds you on a leash. 

Relationships don’t mean anything when you’re not respected, but for you it doesn’t matter. You’re their bitch but it’s funny, even an actual bitch is treated better than you—at least the owner has the basic decency to give it back the love it gives. You chase on the basis of love but I see right through it. How worthless you feel on your knees begging for attention from people. People who decide when they want to give you a bone to chase or put you in a trance chasing an imaginary one instead. It’s that overbearing love I blame, and of course I blame you too. 

You want them to know that you’re hurting. The show you try to put on is entertaining, but little do you know that you’re the show; no one’s laughing at your pain, they’re laughing at you. It’s amusing to witness how you actually think people believe in your little facade when truly, they can see right through you. I can see right through you and it makes me smile. It reminds me that I’ll never stoop to your level in the name of love. The worthless overbearing love that you never seem to get rid of. 

“I constantly go through hurt for you, I’m constantly begging for your acknowledgement—I am deserving of your love but get nothing.” Do you think people actually care that no one reciprocates the love you give them? Do you think people feel bad? Do you think by letting them know you’re drained and unloved will make them love you? Is it even possible to be as slow-witted as you are, no one feels bad. 

No one has become better by expressing their pain and feeling, people simply learn, adapt, and don’t care. Most of all, they use you to make themselves feel better. Even when you give all this love, you never get any back; that makes them feel good. You put in everything and get nothing, they put in nothing and get so much more. They don’t feel bad about that. They might act like they do, but in reality they feel better about themselves because they can look down on you. 

I’ve seen your pain and I want to laugh at you, I want to mock you, I want to use you, I want to be one of the people who have done all of the above and continue to thrive off of your suffering. I am similar to them in the way that I am suffocated by your love. I am also one who suffocates from your overbearing love like they do. It’s strange that I hate you more than the people who have caused you endless pain and emptiness. It’s strange that I suffocate the most from your love even though you give them more love than you ever gave me. But I am not them. 

I’m you. 

We’ve been through so much pain for the sake of others that it’s made us lose ourselves, over and over again. We’ve been through the lowest points of life because of your overbearing love that is doing nothing but destroying us. 

My lover, my burden, me. I’m pleading with you, you need to leave me. 

From,

The Overbearing Lover 

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